Feels

Describing how I'm feeling haven't exactly been the easiest thing. I've always thought after a while it'll get easier but it doesn't. If it wasn't for what happened last 2 months, I would've gone 20 months being clean.
These past 2 months were confusing. I had the time of my life but also, hit rock bottom where I'm helpless. 
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To be honest.. I have a lot in my mind and I know that I need to let it out. But I can't seem to put it to words..